Commissar’s Grit – No Retreat, No Surrender!

The mighty prize in it's new resting place.

The mighty prize in it’s new resting place.

Howdy everyone, it’s Professor Severus here.  I had the chance to get out of the house this weekend and get away to the FLGS, Moxie Games.  Stephen, one of the active members of the community, decided to organize a bad list tournament.  You can take a look at my past post to see the Tau list I put together for the tournament.

So, as a refresher, the rules of the tournament are as follows.  You write the worst legal list possible using an army of your choice.  You bring those models and that list to the tournament.  When you are paired up with an opponent, you swap armies.  You then have to use the bad list they gave you to beat the bad list you brought.  I have played this format before and it is a blast.  The tournament used malestorm missions 1, 4, and 6 using the standard tactical objective deck.

Round one I paired with an opponent I never had played before, RT.  He brought in a list of Dark Angels.  Standard CAD (none of that new shennanigans they got with their 7th edition update), composed of two tactical squads, a scout squad, a vet squad, a terminator squad, a rhino, a razorback, a predator, a captain, and a chaplain.  The captain was the warlord.  I setup to go first, but that dang Mirrorcodex allowed RT to seize the initiative.

The game started out close, but in the end massed bolter fire and 3+ saves carried the day.  I really felt like space marines could conquer the galaxy after that game (as long as no one shot back).  I focused on keeping the suits with the commander contained.  The suits only use was close combat, so quickly the commander was named Leroy Jenkins.  One of the highlights was the scout squad taking the charge from the mob of suits and holding their own.  Eventually some tactical marines came in and helped break the suits.

Malestorm points really went in my favor.  My opponent didn’t have much luck with cards.  I also focused on taking out his fast moving vespid first to minimize the amount of objectives he could grab.  In then end, the Dark Angels emerged victorious.  I believed I managed to rack up 9 points to RT’s 1.

Getting set up with the Dark Angels.  Not sure why the think a fallen is hiding in the tau, but whatever motivates them was fine by this commissar.

Getting set up with the Dark Angels. Not sure why the think a fallen is hiding in the tau, but whatever motivates them was fine by this commissar.

Round two saw me taking the helm of Khorne Chaos Space Marines against another opponent I had never played, Cathy.  She gave me an army containing 2 units of cultists, 2 units of khorne berzerkers, 2 units of chaos space marines with bolters, a unit of chaos space marines with close combat weapons, a unit of bikers, a dark apostles (as warlord), a chaos lord, and a unit of obliterators.  The biggest weakness in this list was the cultists.  I put the characters in those units to give them fearless.  Then I stuck them on the back field to hold objectives.  I was all prepped to go first, but the dang Mirrorcodex reared it’s ugly head again and I was seized on (both RT and Kathy rolled 5’s).

This was the malestrom mission where you could steal an opponents “score objective x card”.  That forced each player to get aggressive and get on objectives quickly, which played right into Khorne’s battle plan.  The berserkers carried the day.  They took a charge from the suit mob led by Leroy, then proceeded to butcher everything in their path (counter attack, rage, and furious charge is a great combo).  The bolter marines helped clean up a few squads as well.  In the end I had Cathy tabled by turn 4.  11 points to the Professor.  No epic moments in this one, just lots of dead tau and tau allies.  I really felt bad playing that game.  It was becoming clear things were going in chaos’ favor by turn 2 or 3.  I had to keep at it and score points as battle points were used for any tie breakers.  Sorry Cathy.

The Blood God was really disappointed in the offering the drones made.  They had neither blood nor skull for the great lord.

The Blood God was really disappointed in the offering the drones made. They had neither blood nor skull for the great lord.

Finally, onto the last round of the tournament.  I was paired up with Anthony, an opponent I have played before.  He is a frequent player to local tournaments, so he know his way around an army.  He brought me by far my worst list of the day.  It was a Dark Eldar list composed of 2 archons (one acting as warlord), 2 units of wracks, 6 units of wyches, a unit of bloodbrides, an ur-ghul, and 3 units of khymarea.  All on foot.  The tau list definitely had the advantage on maneuverability, durability, and range.  I had second turn, so I set up a bit back to try to mitigate any turn 1 shooting.  Of course when I tried to seize, it didn’t work.

The malestrom mission was deadlock, the mission where your number of cards decrease each turn.  That meant you had to get out onto the field early and start scoring.  My original plan was to hold back with most of the force and wait for army wide feel no pain to kick in on turn 3.  Anthony got a good first hand, so I had to start getting after those points if I wanted to keep up.

I decided to break the army into three waves.  The khymarea were the first, scoring kingslayer, blood and guts, slay the warlord, and scoring objective 5 in the first turn (poor darkstrider never knew what hit him).  The bloodbrides tied up the Leroy mob in the center of the field.  While those units soaked up the firepower in turn 2, the wracks go into position.  They weathered the fire power from turn 3.  Finally in turn 4, most of the wyches were in places to make charges and I started taking down units.  That is really when things started to swing.  The archons were putting down suits and kroot, wyches were chasing around drones and vespid.  All sorts of chaos was breaking loose on the field.  Heck, even the Ur-Ghul scored a few points by sitting on a back field objective.

This game was a close one.  I think I had it on turn 5, but the game went on.  Anthony had a chance to tie it up in turn 6.  In the end, the brave drone unit failed a 4 inch charge into my warlords second unit of wyches (the first were used as fodder to protect him).  This saved me from giving up slay the warlord.  I ended up taking it 15 to 13 I think.  Time expired after that.

And with that, I was the lone commissar left on the battle field.  I went 3-0 and racked up a healthy pile of battle points.  Anthony took second.  Overall, it was a blast.  These types of games always make you stretch your brain tactically to try to figure out a solution to the mission.  Plus with some many ridiculous list in the field, dumb funny things are bound to happen.  Although you could make the argument that I won because I own the most crappy models.  Not going to argue that one.

I really appreciate Stephen for running this tournament.  It was a blast and the chainsword prize was so worth the effort of painting up all those vespid, hounds, drones, and suit. So, what do you guys think?  Anyone ever play in a tournament like this before?  What sort of list would you bring.  Until next time this is Professor Severus saying have a good one and take it easy.

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