The Various Forms of Dice God Worship

goddiceHowdy everyone, Severus here.  As we are all aware, dice are a huge part of any warhammer game.  They can be your greatest ally or worst enemy.  The dice owe there allegiance to no gamer.  They only serve the Dice Gods.  Logic would follow that if you want to succeed at good dice rolls, you need to please the dice gods.  Well I have traveled the globe (figuratively) to find you the many acts that please the dice gods.  I have even been able to find a few rituals that can displease them as well.  I now share my hard earned wisdom with you.

1. Never re-roll a “successful” die.  It gets tiring bringing up that six time and time again.  The dice gods don’t like to make there minions work that hard.  Often times these over worked minions will fail you when you need them most.  The dice that rolled low are well rested and eager to please the dice gods with a high value.  An example would be the following: “Okay, I need 5’s to hit that daemon prince.  Sweet, 3 hits.  Now 2’s to wound (scoops up the successful dice and rolls)….No wounds.”

2.  Never use the phrase “anything but a 1”.  This phrase is like a challenge to the dice gods.  They live for challenges.  Without fail, using the phrase “anything but” will almost guarantee that particular result.  5 wounds on your terminators from bolter fire?  Roll 4 ones.

3.  The dice gods are not fair.  Do not assume that because the gods have given your dice bad rolls earlier in the game that you are do for some good luck.  Things can always get worse.  Just honor the gods.  If they decree your dice will roll low, expect that and plan appropriately.

4.  Never tell the dice what is “statistical”.  Once again, the dice gods see this as a challenge.  Particularly if it is your opponents dice.  “Sweet, 26 wounds on your terminators, you should lose 4.  (dice are rolled)  So…they all live.  Did I at least scratch there paint?”

5. Develop your own personal rituals.  The dice gods love individuals that make a special ritual to acknowledge there powers.  Some people use a special motion while rolling for important rolls. Others use a special phrase, often times in tongues that there opponent does not understand.  Whatever the ritual is, be consistent.  If you fail to preform it, the dice gods will undoubted show there displeasure with you.

6.  Recognize the champions of the gods.  Some of you may call them “lucky dice”.  Often times they are larger and more ornate then your normal dice.  These dice seem to always come through for you when needed since they have the blessing of the gods.  It is important to not abuse these champions.  They work for the dice gods, not you.  They will lose the gods favor if they spend to much time in your employ.

7.  Finally, in rare occasions, the gods will demand a sacrifice.  It starts when a group of dice stray off the path of the dice gods.  They start to behave randomly.  They will soon earn the ire of the dice gods.  This is manifested in horrible rolling.  The only way to end there punishment is with a sacrifice.  Melting a select individual with fire or a microwave, smashing with blunt objects, or hurling across the room to separate it from it tribe.  These are all acceptable methods in the dice gods eyes.

That about sums it up for me today.  I hope these valuable tip will help you understand the dice gods and there ways.  I am making a effort to get the blog a bit more exposure, so please give it a share if you like it.  Until then, this is Severus saying take it easy and have a good one.

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