Me Name Iz Kaptain Klaw, and I am Komandeering This Here Blog

kaptainAvast you lazy Gitz, Kaptain Klaw be running this blog now.  I punted that puny grot Severus over da side, now it iz my show.  I hear some of da boyz talkin bout this new codex we iz supposed to have Friday.  Guess some confuzed Mek over at the GW gave out da wrong bitz and now we know most of da rulz.  Bet hiz warboss iz pretty mad.

So, what haz we learned bout deez new rulz?  Orks is da best, dat’s what! Now, obviously we haz always been da best, but now we got new gubbinz to be da best with.  Let me keep dis short, since yur puny grot brainz aren’t as big as my shiny brainz gork (or mork) done gave me.

11 boyz wit da sluggas and choppas in a trukk wit one of me nobz to keep dem in line with a power klaw and da boss pole.  Have da mek slap on some boarding planks to da trukk.  Da trukk can move 6 inches, da boyz can get out 6 inches.  If we have a propa waagh going dat turn, then can then run up to 6 more inches.  Den for the fun part.  Dey can charge up to 14 inches.  Add dat up and you get a whopping 32 inch possible charge range!  And if all dem boyz make it to da fighting that will be 44 strength 4, ws 4 attacks (whatever dat means, mork told me to say it).  Plus don’t forget da 4 from da power klaw (shut up mork, I am talking to me boyz ‘ere)

Now, I know dat da smart gitz among ya are saying “But Kaptain, what if da dice don’t work out.”  Fine, you lot can just plan on averages, although that ain’t propa orky of ya.  In dat case, you could go upto 24 inches!  See, not to shabby, huh lads?

That’s enough for today.  Lets go get into a propa fight, got to be in da best orky shape for when dat new shiny books comes out! (Severus will be back, after he finds wherever the kaptain is, if only he could catch that sneaky git)

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