Wargamer Stereotypes Part 4: The Revengence

mechanicumHowdy everyone, Severus here.  I want to give you guys the comedy you crave today to soften the blow that monday is having on all of us.  I may be scrapping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to these stereotypes, so check out my past articles if you haven’t, herehere, and here.  As always, this is strictly for fun, do not keep reading if you can’t laugh at yourself or our community.

The Win At All Cost Guy:  Commonly referred to as a WAAC player.  This guy has one goal whenever he plays a game, to win.  He is the idiot that came up with a 20 obliterator list when the unbound rules leaked.  Fluff, rules, decency towards his opponent, none of these things are even a consideration when he puts his model on the field.  Anyone who refuses to play him is just afraid to lose (in his mind).

The Ugly Painter:  This guy seems to be stuck at basic painting level.  We all started there, and most of us try to move beyond that.  Not him.  His painting is thick, sloppy, and usually lacking in any types of washes or highlights.  You almost cringe when you see his models.  You got to give it to him though, it takes guts to cover a few hundred dollars of plastic with craft store paint.

The Soccer Announcer:  This guys loves to narrate his games.  Unfortunately for his opponent, other guys in the shop, and the neighbors down the street, he chooses to do this narration like a Mexican soccer announcer.  Loud and full of long drawn out screams.  You can remind him to turn the volume down, but inevitable the volume will creep back up.  Like when some thing awesome happens.  Making an armor save will suffice.

The Apocalypse Guy:  He seems to have a large force of apoc only models.  Like several titans or other super heavies.  He lives for those 8 hour apoc games.  He scratch built his own Emperor Titan (it doubles as a cosplay outfit).  He has the old armor cast titans.  Considering he only rolls them out once or twice a year, no wonder he goes crazy during these games.

The Punching Bag:  This guy loses.  That is what he does.  He always starts each game with loads of enthusiasm and confidence, despite his 0-118 record from 6th.  You got to give it to him though, he knows no quit.  He always comes back for another round.  Not many of us could do that.  Side note: he is a great way to test out a new army list.

The Fluff Bunny:  This guy loves him some fluff.  He has probably memorized every codex, black library novel, and main rule book that he has got his hands on.  If you want a fun conversation, ask him about what happened to legion 2 and 11.  Any army he plays is a reflection of whatever piece of fluff that has caught his eye.  Horus heresy was made for this guy.  Now if only he could just get that unit of Gaunt’s Ghosts guardsmen to take down an entire chaos war host.

The Dark Angel Player:  He plays the space marines with the worst kept secret ever.  The emo marines.  Oddly enough this player to has fallen too.  He was so excited to get his new codex at the beginning of 6th.  As his codex fell in strength, he began to take on the dark brooding nature that his marines are sporting.  Now you can find him in the corner of most stores eying up all the other marine players jealously.  Apparently the good old first legion forgot to grab their grav guns on the way out of the armory.  Maybe there hands were too full with all those different plasma weapons.

That’s it for today guys.  Hope you had a laugh.  See you tomorrow.

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