Even More Wargamer Stereotypes

warhammer memeAfter a few good suggestions and a lot of positive feed back, it’s time for another round of Wargamer Stereotypes.  You can check out part 1 and part 2 here.  As usual, do not continue reading if you are not willing to laugh at yourself or our community. Its all in good fun, so relax and enjoy.

Rules Lawyer – The name says it all.  You will often find yourself in an abstract world when you play this gamer.  Such topics as the definition of “is” can become common place.  Interesting to note, his interpretation of the rules can often change and always seem to benefit him the most.  He is also the kind of guy who feels like pointing out your mistakes, no matter when they happened.  What’s that?  I moved my Assault marines out of initiate order in that game we played three weeks ago?  I am sorry, I am sure your fire warriors would have curb stomped them in that case.

Turtle Gamer – This gamer has one plan in every game he plays.  Defense.  Expect him to castle up and shoot at anything that comes close to him the entire game.  The double whammy in this case is they also tend to be indecisive in there actions.  A turn can take an exceedingly long time as he figures out everything.  You want to ruin his day?  Deepstrike two units next to his castle and watch his brain melt as he struggles with target priority.

The Finesse Gamer – This gamer thrives on making intricate and complex tactical plans to destroy his foes.  It’s important to him that he never wastes a shot, each bullet is precious and must always be applied in the correct location.  The movement phase is this players bread and butter, each move is precise and design to fit into his master plan.  Ultimately games end one of two ways with this guy.  Watching him smugly execute his plans with extreme satisfaction, or watching the horror on his face as his lovely plans crumble.  Remember it is never his plans fault, its always the dice, your army is over powered, the angle of the sun, the humidity, whatever.  Never his plan.  He will often grumble the phrase “That unit should have died two turns ago” when the tide starts to turn on him.

The Meat Head Gamer – Disclaimer, this one is pretty much how I play.  His tactics and game plans are very simple.  Build big things, throw big things at enemies.  Watch things die, hope they aren’t yours.  Consider him the foil the Finesse Gamer.  Any sign of strategy or tactics is abandoned as soon as he sites a big shinny target on the field.  The only reason these guys win games most of the time is through either A) ridiculous luck or B) an opponent who doesn’t take the chance to lead him around by the nose.  The phrase “never tell me the odds” pretty much describes his play style.

The ADD Gamer – This guy, as the name implies, can never seem to focus.  It goes for all things.  His games are full of interruptions either by chatting with his opponent, passers by, the wall, his models, ect.  His armies are a constantly rotating door of units and codexes.  You never seem the same list twice.  Sort of begs the question as to where these new models and armies keep coming from.  Maybe he is selling his meds to desperate college students cramming for finals.

The Stat Junkie – This guys is obsessed with tracking every little stat in the game.  How often you rolled better or worse than statically you should.  How many points he had to use to kill a unit of yours.  His win/loss record.  It’s like somehow if he can just get enough data, he can make a magical formula for writing a perfect army list.  It never happens though.  Nothing is more entertaining that watching him try to cope with you rolling above average for a turn or two.

The True Chaos Player – This guys is a little odd.  I am not talking about the run of the mill chaos guy.  I am talking about the guy that is truly devoted to the chaos gods.  They come in all the varieties you would expect.  Scrawny, long haired, finesse gamers that love Tzeentch.  Big fat smelly guys who worship Nurgle (usually a neck beard).  Creepy oddly erotic scrawny guys who love Slaanesh.  And of course the loud meat head Khorne devoted.  Expect weird little touches in there army, like actual blood mixed into the paint.  Just try to never end up alone in a room with this guy.

Thats all I got for today.  If you guys have anymore ideas, feel free to share.  Rules Lawyer and Meat Head are inspired by Adam Friend of The Overlords.  Not that he is either, I don’t even know they guy.  Thanks for the ideas Adam!


3 thoughts on “Even More Wargamer Stereotypes

  1. Pingback: Wargamer Stereotypes Part 4: The Revengence | Twenty First Legion

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